Rules of Love: VH1’s Matchmaker Siggy Flicker Siggy Flicker doesn’t need reality TV, reality TV needs Siggy Flicker.
A breath of fresh air among seemingly scripted reality shows full of dramatic hair pulling, fighting and negativity, Siggy Flicker’s VH1 show Why Am I Still Single focuses on helping real people solve real problems. Based around her matchmaking service, Flicker coaches people as they overcome personal challenges navigating through the dating scene. Although she admits that over the top clients casted in episodes enhances the dramatic appeal to her show, Flicker is strictly business when it comes to focusing on what’s important. Read on as Siggy gives her rules of love and help those in need get one step closer to finding their own match made in heaven.
Ladies: Chill and sit pretty. Men who want you will make their interest clear as day.
“Older generations had unbelievable parents who taught ladies the basics: If a man wants you, he’ll come after you, don’t be so eager, and don’t be so available. Women today take the role of men and it’s becoming a problem. They don’t know how to relax and just be a woman. Let him come to you.”
Love has nothing to do with money. Find someone you can build with.
“Is money nice? Of course it is, but you can’t build your dating life around meeting [rich] men. I’ve coached plenty of women who marry millionaires and billionaires, and can’t bear going through life. They’re suicidal. When women choose men for money, they end up miserable because their marriage lacks emotional connection. It sucks the life out of them.”
Ladies: Know when to be satisfied. Don’t rock the boat when things are great.
“When you are with the right person, they will bring out the best in you. You’re always going to build, but things should come easy. You should always have fun, even when you’re fighting. As a woman, when you are at peace with a man, it’s an intuitive sign that says ‘Do not rock this boat.’”
Keep your new relationship private from everyone—including your family—the first three to six months.
“The first three to six months is your time to determine whether someone fits into your life. Friends and family are a big part of your life, but you owe it to yourself to draw a boundary. If they are worthwhile, everybody will meet him. Until then, keep it to yourself and keep it private. When I first started dating Michael [Flicker’s fiancé], it took two years for him to meet my kids. You don’t want—especially if you’re a divorced woman—to start introducing your kids and family to every single person you’re dating. Make sure there is a future with them.”
You don’t need a matchmaker.
“People are scared of rejection. Time is of the essence. You don’t want someone taking six to eight months out of your life when they’re not focused on you and what you want. Change the negatives into a positive and don’t let anyone stop you because there is nothing more important in life than finding love.”
Ladies: Your body is a temple. If you want great sex, get a vibrator.
“I believe a woman’s body is a temple. I believe sex is a very, very private and beautiful thing. There’s nothing wrong with being a whore in the bedroom— once you’re in a relationship. Show him that you respect yourself, that you love your body, and that you value who you are. You don’t want to be the girl who everyone’s had. If you want sex for the sake of having good sex, go and buy yourself a vibrator! You don’t need to put yourself out there to embarrass yourself. It’s heartbreaking when I have clients who tell me stories of things they’ve done, and how they’ll walk down the street and everyone is whispering about them because word got around. Give yourself up to someone you have a foundation with. Why give yourself up so easily? He won’t be fooled and he won’t respect you.”
It doesn’t matter if you’re 25 or 45, the same rules apply.
“25 year olds are a lot better at loving than 45 year olds. I tell my younger clients to slow it down just a bit and take their time when dating. My 45-year-old clients have been through life experiences and hardships, so I help them unwrap bandages hiding the interesting scars they have. Life is about falling flat on your face, so there’s no need to hide them.”
Nothing is more important in life than love.
“If you’ve given up on love, you’ve given up on life. Love is oxygen; you can’t live without it. It’s the best feeling in the world. You can’t give up on love because you’ve been burned once or twice. Fight for love up until your last breath!” For more on Siggy Flicker, visit her website at www.siggyflicker.com.
From starring on MTV’s The Real World to starting his own music movement, Mr. Brown is making it happen.
Now more than 25 seasons in, MTV’s The Real World has seen an endless crop of cast members rise and fall. Some leave the limelight for good, while others milk the moment for all it’s worth, riding it until the proverbial wheels shatter and crumble underneath them. Then there is the other prototype; it takes a certain type of character to transform their designated 15 minutes of fame into solid business development, creating a blueprint for their own empire and a starting a movement. This is the realm of Nick Brown.
The Real World Hollywood’s 20th season aired nearly four years ago. In the past four years, the Jamaican-born Nick who spent much of his life in New Rochelle, New York, went from being a replacement cast member to a familiar face on numerous Real World/Road Rules Challenges (including The Dual 2 and The Ruins). He was also producers Bunim and Murray’s go-to guy as the host of the 2011 MTV Spring Break. It’s all about the passion; he gives his all using his infectious charisma that can work a crowd of thousands just as effortlessly a single room of two. Nick was only 23 when he showed up on The Real World Hollywood. Fresh out of college, his choice was either becoming a business analyst or taking the chance that MTV offered to enter the entertainment world. When he got the call to replace a cast member that had been kicked off, Nick was the first one to admit that he didn’t know what he was in store for. “You don’t really know what to expect even when you think you do,” he said. “You feel like you’re constantly on stage because you’re being followed around with a camera. You get used to it after a while, though. I think the first part of it was stressful for me because you’re on stage and people act different on stage. You get caught up in saying the wrong things or not saying the right things. Then you just let go.” One of the more interesting facets of reality television stars is not just what they do while the cameras are rolling, but what they do afterwards. Nick explained, “Some people look at it like college. It was a period of their lives and now they’re ready to move on. Some people may not want anything to do with it. Then there’s people doing it for the wrong reasons who just want to be famous. They like having little girls chase them around the mall. I’m trying to leave something, not just take stuff from the world.” And indeed he did. Nick went on to form his own team complete with artists and a powerhouse of supporters behind his jump into hosting events and doing music full time. “I’m trying to find my path in entertainment and I think I’ve found it.” Nick decided to take the plunge into music production, executive producing an album alongside his “Relentless Team” —budding entertainers Victoria Persico, “I-Naz” and engineer Papa Asante aka ‘Time.” They currently have a song on iTunes going strong, called “Getting Dirty.” The album is expanding into the genre that Nick calls “Hip-Pop,” creating a hybrid of the two popular music genres hip-hop and pop. Judging from the sound, this is music that can certainly resonate within the halls of college dorms. “I’m gearing it towards college kids—especially Greek life, fraternity and sororities mostly—because college kids like to be up on the new shit before anybody else,” Nick said. “College kids like to tap their friend like, ‘Yo, check this out. Remember I’m the first one to tell you,’ and they spread the wealth. “It’s just been a grind,” Nick continued. “A lot of people think that after you do reality TV or the Real World, all these doors open for you and it’s not really the case. It gave me a path in order to stick with it because I would have never quit my job and just randomly start pursuing entertainment. It gave me that push to say, ‘Well, alright, that’s not what I’m meant for. I’m not meant to be a business analyst.’ Throughout the process, I’ve found what I wanted to do as far as being a host and interacting with people.” There is one lesson that really sums up Nick’s journey: finding out what you don’t want to do is just as important as finding out what you do what to do. You never know what the opportunity will look like. Sometimes you simply have to jump in head first, trust it will all work out, and be relentless.
Readers, consider following Nick’s viral college informant and check out “Gettin’ Dirty” on Nick’s site at nickbrownonline.com and on facebook.com/nickbrownonline.
Whenever J. Lo or Janet Jackson need to wow the crowd in their upcoming music video, Brian Friedman is the first person they call. As a choreographer and director, Friedman’s routines aren’t just a simple 1-2 step; they’re fully sculpted to imprint the artists’ brands throughout their performances. What else would you expect from the man behind the ultra-popular moves seen in Britney Spears’ big comeback hit “Hold It Against Me” and the exercise instructional Freestyle? In an exclusive interview, the always innovative and intuitive Brian breaks it down.
How long does it take you to choreograph a solid routine?
I usually [interpret] what the music is saying and then bring [the message] to life. In some instances, I don't have the luxury of having the music to create to; those are the most difficult scenarios. Regardless, my process is always filled with pressure to out-do anything I have done before. This is a pressure that I put on myself.
You’ve stated that choreography and directing are similar.
Choreography and directing go hand in hand. Choreography is the direction of all of the movement you are seeing. Once I realized this and started to take control of my scenes, the possibilities became endless.
As far as intensity, which is more intense?
Choreography. So much work goes into crafting steps; there is no limit to what can be done with movement. [Choreography] also involves physical strain, which can really take a toll on your body.
Let's reflect on your routine for 'Hold It Against Me.'
[Britney] was always known for "full out" dancing, so I needed to bring back [that] style to Britney's brand, which was my goal when creating that choreography. As a dancer, performing that choreography is both a challenge and a release at the same time. I am very proud of that routine and even more proud that people around the world have taken it upon themselves to learn it.
Where do you draw inspiration from?
Like many others, the great performers that came before me hugely inspire me. Michael Jackson, Prince, Janet Jackson, Madonna and Bob Fosse all played huge roles in my development, as did my mother, who was my first dance teacher. Now the dancers I hire and my peers— directors, choreographers and producers—inspire me. Inspiration never dies.
Who are you waiting to work with?
Madonna is someone I'd love to work with; she still is on the top of my list. I would also like to work with Lady GaGa. She really is the truth and I admire her level of commitment to the arts.
Does dancing professionally require any crazy dieting?
I don't think dieting is the way to go. I believe in a healthy lifestyle. If you put clean food into your body and stay fit, you will live a healthy, strong life. It's all about moderation as well. You can't binge on anything- that's where the problems always begin. I stay in the gym and I like to hike. I also eat well and juice.
Are there any rookie mistakes that new choreographers make?
Young choreographers craft their routines based on what they think people want to see, rather than what they have inside of themselves. As a choreographer, you want to create your own brand so people know that the work is yours without having to ask or be told. If you are copying other choreographers’ work, you will never find your own voice.
I know there are some fatally irritating mistakes dancers make during auditions.
A huge pet peeve of mine is when dancers approach the table and freestyle directly in front of me. I don't like to be force fed when I am watching. I think it's a selfish step; it never comes across well. I like when they depend on their talent and inner light to shine through. The worst thing they could do is climb on the table!
What's on the horizon?
I am currently working with my company, IDentity UNKnown, on artist development and creating new platforms of entertainment, including TV shows, stage shows and music. On the side, I am still producing and doing creative direction for TV shows such as The X Factor and America’s Got Talent, as well as directing music videos. Choreography will always be a part of my life and I get to exercise that tool as the creative director on the international Pulse Tour.
What's your take on reality shows, especially after working on one?
Reality shows are a whirlwind! You live inside a bubble where reality is very unreal. The second these shows end, you return back to your life and as quickly as it came, it disappears. While the show is going on, nothing else exists. You eat, sleep and breathe the show. You get to watch people go from having nothing to sometimes becoming the biggest stars on the planet. It's quite remarkable and has created some lifetime memories.
Why do you feel choreography is highly underestimated?
Choreographers have the hardest job out of anyone in the entertainment industry. To create something out of nothing is a miracle. Other artists have tools such as a paintbrush or musical instruments. Dancers have only their bodies and choreographers have only their imagination. To dip inside a choreographers mind is exhaustingly beautiful. I respect choreographers more than anyone out there!
Financial Consultant and Entrepreneur Angela ‘A.D.’ Reed tells us how By Dennis Malcolm Byron
Need some money tips, big spender? Well who better to ask than Angela “A.D.” Reed, one of the most revered financial consultants for everyone from entertainment industry moguls, to NBA players and multi-platinum rappers who have hired her to keep their bank accounts in the black. Co-founder and CEO of the Atlanta, Ga.-based firm, A Lucrative Life, Reed is an expert in accounting, lending, wealth management, financial planning and tax preparation to name a few. What she terms “providing total financial lifestyle protection” for more than 2000 clients, Reed was still more than happy to take time out of her demanding schedule and consult J’Adore readers free of charge. See, we are saving money already!
Pay attention to all your bills.
This often goes unnoticed. Individuals spend hundreds of dollars a year on excessive fees. Most companies have hidden fees such as reconnection and late fees. This is where companies make a good portion of their profits. Corporations prey on your delayed payments. Ways to defeat the traps include automatic draft from your account, or setting alerts on your phone to remind you when a bill is due.
Become conscious of your spending habits.
Track your spending. A way to do this is by writing down everything you spend for 30 days and then you can see in what areas excess spending may be occurring. Cut down on areas where you spend the most, but get the least back in return, such as dining out, clubbing, etc... After this is done, create a budget to manage your finances.
Most people believe maintaining a healthy lifestyle is expensive, when in fact it is the other way around. Eating unhealthy food in particular is extremely expensive one way or another. What you don't spend up front will be added to the back end with higher medical costs and more visits to the doctor.
DO NOT use credit cards or debit cards.
If you cannot afford to pay in full, you don't need it. Instead, use credit cards for emergency purposes only. Credit cards have huge interest rates that are very costly on an annual basis. Debit cards make it very difficult to track what you spend. Sometimes, the banks will allow you to overdraw your account so that you can incur fees. Don't be fooled. Go to your bank’s ATM and withdraw funds. Mentally, it is harder to spend cash than it is to swipe a card.
Pay down your debt.
As the saying goes, "Trouble don't last always." Maintaining good credit is still very important. Instead of going to the mall this week, why not pay on that old college credit card with the high interest rate? This will help restore bad credit and increase your credit score. Now with such attention on the economy, more and more people are defaulting on their financial obligations. As a result, collection agencies are eager to settle. You can get a substantial reduction on past due bills for pennies on the dollar.
Trick yourself into saving.
If money burns your pocket, find ways to be more creative with your savings. Ways to accommodate this include opening bank accounts that have a savings component; opening a certificate of deposit where you would be penalized for early withdrawal; paying the maximum amount into your 401k or pension fund.; or taking out a term life insurance policy where you receive all of your premiums back plus interest. These are just a few ways to save without the feeling of saving!
For more information on Angela “A.D.” Reed and her firm, A Lucrative Life, visit alucrativelife.com.